Friday, 18 January 2019

Repeat Fail, Complain About Fail, Repeat Fail, Repeat Complaint About Repeated Fail......

As you know we are all required by health care professionals et al, to be slim and to do it by one method that's a pretty comprehensive failure. Such epic failure cannot be hidden, either stop pretending that we don't all know this, or attack the person. They're to blame, they're doing something wrong, they've failed.

This is a major driver of their attacks on fat people, not deeply held antagnoism. The effect on the targets of this is on the ability to perceive our own actions and their results. It also has led fat people to feel they have no credibility, in this and other areas.

It is this not "disbelief" which prompts policing people into this state of self-incredulity, it is the salvaging of dieting. Belief is faith or assertion in the absence of evidence or conclusive evidence, either for or against. The evidence here is overwhelming, dieting has failed. Every person above an acceptably designated size, who's dieted, is evidence.

Here's a current example of the everlasting cycle to present the individual as defective and dieting as viable. "I lost 13 stone – now I know the truth about obesity" by Nadja Hermann. It's the same old shit its all in your head, but her spin is your problem is your "fat logic" [yup]. This led me assume she was, Marillia Brocchetto "Reddit's bullies pushed me to fight weight gain", turns out not.

Urban Dick defines "fat logic" as,
The astounding mental gyrations obese people use to justify their size. Fatlogic never, ever includes eating too much and exercising too little.
The notion of anybody "justifying their size" is created by ci/co, something pushed by the 'obesity' crusade.

Herman says,
The term doesn’t mean “fat people’s logic”, but refers to the complex grab bag of supposedly medical facts, well-meaning advice, homegrown ideas and fantasies that make losing weight not only difficult, but impossible.
Dickhead's version is really Nadja's, sans the female performance of 'nice'. Sounds like the usual "fat thinking" trope. I remember being haunted by the notion that I was thinking fat thoughts without knowing it. Like a lot of fatz, I ended up becoming hyper vigilant, trying to catch myself out thinking these thoughts that contradicted my overweening desire to be slim. I wish I was joking.
My main goal is to expose the system of supposed wisdom and well-meant advice about obesity and weight loss as nothing but fat logic, as a vicious circle of fallacies and myths. I intend to do it by taking each individual claim of fat logic that together make up that system and directly debunking them, one by one.
The "system"?

You're still with the reality that dieting itself is not simply punitive but doesn't work? Allow me to go on. Getting hooked on smack is associamafacated with lower risk of ob, buuuuttt, it is pathological, it can lead to your death, (results not typical).

Dieting is pathological, starvation is a way to die and it doesn't work, i.e. it's not effective, two fails for the price of one. Keep that in mind.
For me breaking the cycle was the pivotal change. As a behavioural therapist, I failed to deal with my own weight for years. The reason is that (behavioural) therapy can only work if we recognise which behaviours we need to change, and we are convinced that therapy will be effective and we will be able to make it work. 
"..can only work.....if we are convinced that therapy will be effective and we will be able to make it work." Wouldn't it be easier to just find something fit for the task that has built-in efficacy? Why should we have to bend and twist up ourselves to "make it work" if it already does work? What is its effectiveness beyond us then? And if we are its effectiveness and we are "defective", this is hardly going to end well is it?

What she's claiming is that if y'all will just stop entertaining fatty thoughts, you'll be mad keen (again) on weight loss dieting, just like you were in the good old days. You know you would.

"Lose weight" =starving off weight. Also, "eating behaviour"=eating. She's emphasising the use of "eating behaviour" because the "obesity community" wants it eating to be viewed as behavioural.

Hunger=signal, eating=response.

Tuesday, 8 January 2019

Bye-Bye Weight Mess

Belated Happy New Year. 

What more is to be said about the weight mess?

It all boils down to some rather simple facts. The means we have to reduce body mass-effectively self-induced starvation has proven to be a failure.

This fact although obvious and much commented on, is widely rejected.

That could say it all, except to add something peculiar, professionals wish this failed approach to succeed. In a way, that is the real mystery in all this-why weight loss has to happen through starvation.

You wish to achieve something, fine. You presume it will be in one particular way, okay. It turns out not to be the way, fine. But for some reason, you insist the ends must be achieved via that means and that means alone.

Doesn't make sense.

Why not just find the correct way to achieve it if its so important? Especially when that is your profession's vocation.

That sort of question should always be used to derail any and all weight bollox. Indeed, 2019 is as good a time as any to blow up that bridge. 

This neurosis is being driven by research, science and healthcare professionals. If this was about public prejudice, it would have been done long ago.

Professional status is giving it all this its characteristic validation of unreality.

Many people's brains cannot help but see what is out there in plain sight. It's the conscious, social mind that is going along with the pro's flow.

This denial of truth is a decision.

Few other than those whose with a level of trust so unparallelled in modern society-though many of them my gripe otherwise- could underwrite such an Emperor's New Clothes style suspension of disbelief.

We owe so much to them and their professions, maybe they think we owe them unquestioned submission to this lie as a means of some repayment.

I'm sorry if they've taken this to heart, but not even they cannot make this particular fiction walk with a reality this omnipresent and undeniable. 

Unless there is a counteracting force to equal or surpass this emotional configuration, this mad hatters ball will continue to trundle on, what it has cost us thus far will soon be made small. Attacking the body as if an imagined "disease" has to stop.

It is nothing personal and should not be taken personally by professionals.

We'll have to pay what we owe in some other way.

Monday, 31 December 2018

Your Weight Takes Nothing From You, part II

The neurotic weight as identity premise is what the ob construct and its crusade rests on, if you copy it, you will end up doing the same thing-pathologising weight.

For some reason, people find this difficult to accept. They mis-attribute what is the product of being silenced, for absence of sufficient identifying with your weight. Fact is, IDying with your weight to the extent that is normal for many slimz is abnormal-they'd do well to reconsider. 

A few tweeters spotted the substitution of "thinness" for 'obesity' and complained about it, one in particular, @medicalinguist, nailed the point pretty well...
"Your thinness has taken so much from you" suggests that thin people are "defective" by default.
...for totally the wrong reasons😆. This is suggestive of how slim people know ob is trash and why, they're just going long with what's wrong.

An astute and sympathetic responder @nomilubin, explains the feelings behind this well,
As a thin person, I find it extremely painful to hear these realities. I don't want them to be true to the point where I can imagine denying them or diminishing them.
This is so on point, and generous, as I know many slim people can and will be-when fat people give them something to go on. It what's driving the professionals too who are abusing their professional sphere to enact this denying and diminishing.

It leads to a key question at the heart of this-what do lay people do when professionals who control and police everyone's understanding and perception of reality-go rogue?

The professionals engaged in this weight jazz, are as we speak trying to trade on an impression of the public as savages full of prejudices that need to be lanced by their enlightened selves, trying to absolve themselves of responsibility. This impression is possibly left by everything from civil rights struggles to scientific advances that challenge people's beliefs.

For some reason I cannot fathom fat activists keep getting on board with this line, positioning the white coats (doctors, when its actually all of them plus sundry sub-clinical types, along with the original quacktastic alt-med contingent) as merely influenced by contact with these lowly issue.

Hell no, it is them driving this, their stamp is all over it. Who decided BMI 30 meant anything? Your fat phobic mother? Who decided people would be deemed "the obese", until people was hyphenated to "obese-people", on-line mras? Which cretins are trying to get other bullshitters to say "with obesity" because it sounds virtue signally?

Why deny this?

The reason I make this point is what's happening doesn't make sense unless it is made clear that ob is a top-down effort and which particular group it is coming from. It's not the law or politics, its medics, researchers, scientists who are messing up.

That needs to be pointed out. 

No one has to confront anyone, but if you cannot tell the truth about who's poisoning the well, how can you stop it? If indeed people do want to put a stop to this mess. Another oddity is this over stating and understating at the same time.

On the one hand, we're oppressed-we aren't, what is really going on is more like "Learned helplessness",
American psychologist Martin Seligman initiated research on learned helplessness in 1967 at the University of Pennsylvania as an extension of his interest in depression. In Part 1 of this study, three groups of dogs were placed in harnesses. Group 1 dogs were simply put in a harnesses for a period of time and were later released. Groups 2 and 3 consisted of "yoked pairs". Dogs in Group 2 were given electric shocks at random times, which the dog could end by pressing a lever. Each dog in Group 3 was paired with a Group 2 dog; whenever a Group 2 dog got a shock, its paired dog in Group 3 got a shock of the same intensity and duration, but its lever did not stop the shock. To a dog in Group 3, it seemed that the shock ended at random, because it was his paired dog in Group 2 that was causing it to stop. Thus, for Group 3 dogs, the shock was "inescapable". 
We are like the group 3 dogs who act like we can't escape, when there isn't anything holding us other than this learned behaviour.

At the same time we suffer bias. Bias? That's when you favour red over yellow, not when you wish to starve people and mutilate their organs, that's malicious assault, that's iatrogenic. Since when do doctors make their 'bias' the subject of a phoney baloney 'science' and insist on "treating" a non-existent disease, i.e. assaulting and damaging health?

How to do self acceptance has already been discovered. Two examples, learning to embrace and acknowledge your own body and pointing out that-diets don't work.

None of these required any input from slim people, professionals, counsellors, dietitians or anyone else. They weren't about moaning about who is or isn't nice, they were about our feelings and our needs based on our histories.

The first is about restoring or even introducing a normal reaction to your body and your size, the latter was reality-testing.

Fat people need to learn that we have to dismantle the rubbish we've been taught, not so much internalisation as a single voice and mode of expression we were all taught. We have to unearth our own voice and that will not come from constructing a social justice frame that isn't really there.

Slim people will turn up for us, when we turn up for ourselves.

What's stopping us from pointing out that the professionals have failed? That we turned up for do it yourself, i.e. "personal responsibility"? What's stopping us from stating facts, barracking, bullying, insults, yes, I get that, but that's always been there. It didn't stop us from starting. It's we who keep stopping ourselves when we get any momentum.

People were told, if you jump on this "body positive" bandwagon, you will not be served by it. We were brushed off, because anything slim people do is where it's at. That warning turned out to be correct.

Finding our buried voices is what fat acceptance or w/e you wish to call it should be about. This is what "speak the truth to power" means. Our continued silence aides those who are doing us dirty. Only enter the ob fictionalisations, to lead trace a path from there to the truth, this is not a debate, this is (largely) fiction versus truth.

Saturday, 22 December 2018

The Emperor's New Clothes

Before I get to part two of "Your weight takes nothing from you", I want to concentrate on re-visiting the fable of "The Emperor's New Clothes". It is a good way to grasp the weight mess regards who believes or doesn't believe what, why or whom.

I repeat what I said, there is nothing to believe. The truth is in plain sight. Millions of people have been told they must become slim, not "lose weight" actually become a slim person. Whatever else is going on is swimming around that. The upshot is the means given to people by the science/research/medical/HC establishment doesn't work, as well as being inherently pathological.

The primary activity of said establishment is to appear to rage against this failure, which is their own- as if it is the failure of their targets. In order it seems to get them to continue to keep repeating this failure, as if it reality isn't happening. 

This cannot continue. So the issue here is that this alternative to, the truth we can all see is being held in place by reputation of the establishment, aided and abetted by the refusal/inability of anyone/ group to consistently point to the truth and to reject focusing on the fiction being upheld.

How to focus on the facts has already been demonstrated by fat people/activists when they insisted on repeating the fact that "Diets don't work." This prompted attacks from all sides, mainly ad hominem, not to mention doubts within, but fat people kept at it, regardless.

The upshot of this is everyone has been forced to recognise this, whether they like it or not. Even if it means them starting a sentence with such as, "Of course dieting doesn't work....." before they tack back to acting like/insisting it does.

DDW for short, isn't enough to derail the crusade, but it has been forced to yield to that reality to some degree. If fat people did nothing but this, in response to any talk about weight, it would increase the pressure on those seeking to continue the lie.

The truth fight of crusaders is with human biology as it is, rather than as they wish it to be. Fat people are most caught in that crossfire, used to make it look less irrational. 

This is the basics of how to fight this crusade, or at least its lies. I'm not saying its all of it, but any less than this is something folks will have to explain. I don't give a damn how you feel about your size, pretty much every fat person should be able by now to point to and stick to the facts, pretty much at all times.

It doesn't matter whether you are desperate to exit fatness or to not. If you wish to be slim, you need the white coats to stop this fuckery, if you wish fatness to be a neutral descriptor/positive state, you need the same.

The crusade is shafting both those who wish to be slim and those who are indifferent or not interested. As well as blocking progress in other areas of metabolic function.

The story of "the Emperor's New Clothes" is about an exceptionally vain(glorious) fashionisto emperor, who becomes a career opportunity for a couple of ambitious grifters.
The two weavers promise him a set of clothes so fine and wonderful that only the great and good in society will be able to see it.
In a sense the highlighted is the white coated ones 'invisible', i.e. non-existing, alternative to truth. Fat people are told that we cannot see this alternative they call 'science', because we are unworthy, not because it isn't real. Effectively silencing and sidelining fat people from the common discoure. Whatever we say is wrong, so we can be utterly disregarded. That could be seen as upsetting, but we don't fit into the discourse others are having anyway.
They [the clothes] will be quite invisible to anyone who is stupid, incompetent or unworthy of their position in society.
The whole point of reaching a place of self-recognition/acceptance w/e is that we have either seen through this, or at least recognise the received 'wisdom' doesn't add up.
Such a set of clothes would be perfect for a great Emperor. They would suit his sense of self-importance, and their magical properties of invisibility, to the unworthy, would enable him to find out which of his ministers were unfit for their jobs. This is evident when the emperor says, "...and I could tell the wise men from the fools."
The emperor's fiction doesn't match the reality we can all see, only the worthy, everyone who is not fat, can see. 
When the Emperor finally walks out among his subjects in his non-existent finery, the crowds watch eagerly. They all want to see which of their friends or neighbours are so stupid that they cannot see the clothes. What actually happens, of course, is that none of them see any clothes. Still, no one says anything. Some are too embarrassed to tell the truth. They think that they must be too stupid to see the clothes. Perhaps others believe that to say anything derogatory would be to draw attention to the truth of the Emperor's own stupidity. Perhaps others simply do not wish to be the first to speak out with a contrary voice. 
This is about where we are with this weight foolishness. I don't want to wear it out, but we saw this the other week with a certain columnist, who knew the NHS was promoting crash dieting, but somehow could quite bring herself to believe this could be so, "Is an NHS-backed diet going to succeed when most others don’t?" The first line is,
Is a crash diet no longer considered a crash diet because it has been validated by medicine?
She knows the answer just as well as anyone else, a diet is a diet no matter who's backing it. But its hard to say in the face of the notion that it is unwise not to uphold white coat pretense.

If fat people are not the people to point to reality, then who? Complaining that others aren't is one thing, but not whilst you aren't yourself doing it. You don't even have to confront the white coated ones if you don't want. You simply have to call nakedness, nakedness, without equivocation or pretence.

Whether you argue with others or not, stick to reality. No matter how many times you get side-tracked, once you recognise you are drifting back to the fiction, stop yourself, then reset and repeat. Eventually, you will learn to stick with realism regardless of the pressure. Just like DDW.

Stick to your guns, until others realise at the very least that you will not be persuaded or coaxed back to supporting their fiction. Yes, it may not stop them as we see above, but what it will do is change you. And that has already proven to matter more than what others are or aren't doing.

If you screen out any bluff and bluster, you are likely to stop participating in someone else's folie de grandeur, at least make them do all that themselves. Let them sweat to maintain😅😏.

So, how does the fable end?
Only one small child, who is far too innocent of all this pretension and social convention, shouts out, "But he hasn't got anything on!" At first, the little boy's father tries to correct the boy, but gradually the news breaks out and everyone finally realises that they are not alone in their inability to see the clothes. Slowly, but surely, everybody finds that there is strength in numbers and they begin to admit there is nothing to see. Realizing how foolish they and the emperor have been, they begin to laugh. The Emperor cringes, but continues with the procession, because to turn back now would be to admit his own gullibility. Better to carry on thinking that he is the only one who has the wisdom to see the clothes than to admit ignorance. His courtiers, likewise, feel they have to continue to live the lie, so they dutifully follow their leader.
Don't let sympathy for the white-coated ones inhibit you. I have the utmost respect for many who wear the coat, so I say from a place of high regard, that this is proof that they're riding for a fall. That's a better description of real "tough love". 

Even if people continue to barrack you for dealing in realness, the truth will prevail. Will that be enough to stop the crusade?

We shall see.

Friday, 21 December 2018

Your Weight Takes Nothing From You

There I was struggling to get across exactly why the 'obesity' construct is a fail tern, that's damaged people and needs to be left to those who want it, when here comes this, "What Your Thinness Has Taken From You".

I haven't read it, my point is about the title. It's the exact same premise 'obesity' rests on. Which is, your size/mass/weight is somehow violating you.

This of course makes absolutely no sense, even as a metaphor.

Size, whether weight or mass measures the whole of you.
Weight is not the same as mass. Mass is a measure of how much stuff is in an object. Weight is a force acting on that stuff. Weight is the result of gravity. The Earth's gravity attracts objects towards the centre of the Earth and you feel forces like this as weight.
Size cannot at the same time be a separate abstract entity that's somehow attacking and degrading the quality of you. Exactly as in, "What your thinness takes from you." In case it need be said, neither thinness, slimness, inbetweenieness, nor fatness, takes absolutely duck fall from your essence. End of story.

This sort of mal-ideation tells us mostly about the teller, not the told upon. The former is feeling what they don't like about the subject and attributing it to their weight. If the oddness of this conclusion stands out better when used on the acceptably-weighted, then all this will not be in vain.

The difference between this instance and ob is the latter starts from a mind that can't cope with the reality of, a bigger person, it breaks down at slim and comes to a halt. Preferring to see big(ger) than they as, 'excess' thrown onto slim and somehow corrupting them-because everything is all about them, all the time. Or they die.

Just kidding, but that seems to be how they feel emotionally speaking. The appearance of bigger makes them feel sidelined, erased, so they erase in return.

These fee fees are then parlayed into becoming "disease", to make this seem like the issue is the other person, not they, oh no. This "science", is supposed to spare the blushes and make everyone feel better about it.

The fundamental question at the heart of this, is not so much of the, "Why does everybody hate fatz so much💔😭" kind, it's, what do you do when the well builders are poisoning the well? Who can stop those who usually correct themselves?

The last time I'm aware of a similar sort of thing being tried was when certain pathological homophobes tried to run the study of HIV/IDS into irrelevance so that gay men could just die. They were clocked and sent packing by gay people and allies-which included medical and HCPs by the way, in part because gay people were actually dying. That's the sort of thing that will rile even the most docile.

In the case of fatz, we are lucky, there is no actual disease to kill us. Problem is iatrogenesis, this fiction is being used to actually assault people and their bodies in various ways. Let's not forget, gastric mutilation takes bodies from being able to be fully nourished from food, to not being able to be.

Nor is it clear that their is informed consent or even consent at all, seeing as 'obesity' is a manufactured contrivance, unless they are aware of this, what is a person consenting to but fiction?

Tuesday, 18 December 2018

Utilitarian Hate: People Don't Really Really Hate Fat People

Our pre-FA default used to be to not take fat phobia and hatred seriously, now activists are deciding again that the opposite of this is to take it too seriously. The point is not our attitude to fatphobia, it's our attitude to our own experiences and defining those as they are, which will have to be outside the ob cult's framework.

Fat phobia is not at root a heartfelt reaction, it is strategy.
Strategy, A plan of action designed to achieve a long-term or overall aim. In addition, A strategy is a framework for making decisions about how you will play the game of business. 
For business read play the game of repressing other people's (and your own weight).
In a 2013 journal article, bioethicist Daniel Callahan argued for more stigma against fat people. “People don’t realize that they are obese or if they do realize it, it’s not enough to stir them to do anything about it,” he tells me. Shame helped him kick his cigarette habit, he argues, so it should work for obesity too.
Strategy. The most important thing about this essay-if you can find some way of accessing it, do-is it explains very well how the whole white coat brigade's weight strategy works. Hate-away-other people's-weight.
Other physicians sincerely believe that shaming fat people is the best way to motivate them to lose weight.
Strategy. There's nothing remotely sincere about it.
“It’s the last area of medicine where we prescribe tough love,” says Mayo Clinic researcher Sean Phelan. 
Strategy. Love of any kind is not a "prescription".

If you know you are not anorexic, yet are being pushed down that route. If you know you are not sick, but are being pushed to pretend you are, why would the fact of white coat professionals using the whipping up of prejudice as a tool and strategy for "weight management" be so beyond either your own or other people's perception?

Why does the need to take all this in an overly literal way keep coming back like a bad smell? What is it supposed to achieve?

Hatred of fat people is mostly falsified performance. Fat phobia is a trained response. That doesn't make it not disturbing, after all, we know that though acting is false, it can still affect us.

Going back to bioethicist Daniel Callahan, hatred of fatness is deemed ethical behaviour. A phobic level response is deemed the correct one. Anything less is deemed backsliding or even corrupt, i.e. "promoting obesity". I made this point more recently when this desire to take this behaviour as if it was somehow a natural response,
"I posted a link on Twitter to a 1969 interview with Jim Morrison, in which he said, “Fat is beautiful.” Minutes after posting the link, a friend responded angrily that being fat is unhealthy because it causes high blood pressure and other health problems. This response, I told the audience, is an example of what I call “Fat Derangement Syndrome,” where even people who consider themselves to be open-minded, critical thinkers become outraged if fat is spoken about in any positive way. "
"Fat Derangement Syndrome" is 'obesity'. It's the applied vigilante style, permanent chorus of disapproval, which is supposed to trigger feelings of unwellbeing in fat people. This can be pointed to as the expression of the pathology of 'obesity'/caused by 'obesity'.
That feeling that this is ethical is true internalisation. The feeling that it is somehow wrong not to harass fat people with (increasingly) health-trolling. It is interesting that mainstream activist types and cult promoters love to present the notion that this contrived barracking is deep feeling, 
There’s a grim caveman logic to our nastiness toward fat people. “We’re attuned to bodies that look different,” says Janet Tomiyama, a stigma researcher at UCLA. “In our evolutionary past, that might have meant disease risk and been seen as a threat to your tribe.” These biological breadcrumbs help explain why stigma begins so early. Kids as young as 3 describe their larger classmates with words like “mean,” “stupid” and “lazy.
........the most hard-wired problem of all: Our shitty attitudes toward fat people.
Do you see the same notion that constant pile-ons, health-trolling, hatred, and fat phobia are so natural even fighting with all our might does nothing? Not only that though remember, 'obesity' is fake, it has to be created. If people just let fat people be, we would not simply decide to make ourselves unhappy, tired and defeated for no reason.

It's also a psychological assault to manufacture an imagined pathological state called 'obesity'.

If this organised rancour, this weaponised "peer pressure" is so natural, why is it supported by an industry spitting out "studies" on how fat people are costly parasites draining everyone else dry? Why the creation and ceasless stoking of grievance?

There are plenty of gay fat people out there. How many of you have experienced those moments of extreme tension when there's a palpable threat to your life?

How many people have been beaten to death purely because they are fat? Now consider, what percentage of people wouldn't dream of harming a gay person for their mere existence? But can you find one person who doesn't agree fat people should be constantly harassed?

So why aren't fat bodies piling up in hospitals from life-threatening beatdowns?

The pain of being fat is more emotional attrition. It's the fear of being exposed, humiliated, piled-on, cornered, attacked verbally. The only likely exception to this is in healthcare settings, that's the only place where some fat people actually experience the sort of life threatening assault.

Recently I saw some of a programme which featured a young fat woman who was stuck, under pressure by the usual circling of the white coats. She was told she should be lined up for mutilation, that girl howled like a wolf. 

It's clear this is a topdown thing, no matter how much activists collude with their 'betters' to pretend otherwise. To gloam onto the notion that ordinary folks are just savages. That seems to be a class thing and its a little bit shocking how much bourgie fat activists want to go with this.

It's the other way around, people have been told they're supposed to behave towards fat people, by those who administer and influence power. They're doing what they're told. Look at Barbara Ellen the other week, not being able to unequivocally state the bountifully obvious fact of medics promoting starvation dieting.

People are scared not to fall in line. They're becoming like we . Suggesting the fear some of us felt and still feel is a product of being an unquestioning vessel for someone else's malevolent thoughts.

Now isn't that a doozy?

Something about being a container, someone else's tool and puppet shrinks your courage. 

The idea of the ob cult has always been, citizens can and should endeavour to control or influence people's weight from the outside in, through abuse and now trolling permanently unsettling them, making it unpleasant to merely exist. This will shove them into escaping to slimness as fast as they can, by any means you force them down, no matter how painful. Given that means is starvation,  the pain of being needs to outrank the pain of that. 

The complaining about "promoting obesity" happens whenever health trolling is felt to be lacking. Management has to be constant. It is after all supposed to be replacing the functioning of your own body.

It's in the nature of people that when they perform a response, feeling, emotion, notion repeatedly with enough vigour, it becomes more than mere performance. In other words, their attempt to re-size our weight from the outside has reshaped their minds and their emotional landscape. 

So no, people don't really, really hate fat people, they're performing their duty, like the good little boys and girls that they are. Just as we used to do with our quest to be slim.

You aren't arguing with their feelings, your arguing with their desire to do what they've been told is the right thing.

Thursday, 13 December 2018

How To Deal With Gaslighting - Ariel Leve

Ariel Leve speaks here about the instinctive survival tactics she used to survive an abusive gaslighting mother. She speaks of a woman who had no boundaries and could not control her moods.  How many times have I said that crusaders are totally out of control?

Some of what she says hits home hard.
"Everything is upside down. Reality is being cancelled, nothing means anything." 
She defines gaslighting as when someone manipulates you into questioning your own sanity. I'd add health to that-defined though that is by Munchausens-by-Proxy. In case that doesn't make sense to anyone. 'Obesity' is a largely meaningless construct now being used to pretend disease that doesn't exist. That is the features of the above disorder and no one has to accept this, unless they wish to enter into this fiction.
It wasn't just that my reality was cancelled, but my perceptions of reality were overwritten. and one of the most incidious things about gaslighting is the denial of reality. Being denied what you have seen with your own eyes and you know to be true. Being denied an experience that you have had and you know is real. 
And, something I've often felt,
For me, the erasure of the abuse was worse than the abuse.
Remember you Are not the one(s) with the problem. 
It can make you crazy, but you are not crazy. 

Ariel Leve

The lessons are;

1. Remain Defiant

Don't give up or compromise your experiences and/or what you know to be true. Don't try to meet the gaslighter halfway. If the gap between reality and their stories is wide. Let it be, stop trying to close or reconcile it by bending the truth. Women especially are rooted to a performance of the latter to an absurd degree. You are not Gandhi, give it up.

2. Recognise there will never be accountability

The miscreants concerned will never accept accountability for what they have done and what they are doing to you. Cultists could very easily begin to make amends by telling the truth and sticking with it. They chose not to. 

3.  Let Go of the Wish for Them to be Different

Stop trying to make the wrongdoer be different. That's not your responsibility-it will drain you dry and leave you hollow. Instead, change your reaction to and estimation of them [even if only on this matter].

4.  Develop a Healthy Detachment

Distance yourself from cultists. Learn that there are two worlds - reality and the world of the abuser. You have to make a choice. Don't try to enter the abuser's world assuming they've made a space for you there because they're using terms like; "science, treatment, medicine or health". They haven't.