Friday, 1 September 2017

D-I-Y Stomach Shrinking

"Demoted or dismissed because of your weight?" Well don't worry, sympathy is at hand in the form of "stomach shrinking".

Stomach shrinking? (I hear you cry) How interesting, the stomach is a essentially a bag made up of [amongst other things], a couple of tiers of muscle. And what tissue is more [[[[contractible]]]] and elastic than muscle?!!!
the human stomach walls consist of an outer mucosa, and inner submucosa, muscularis externa, and serosa. The gastric mucosa....consists of the epithelium and the lamina propria (composed of loose connective tissue), with a thin layer of smooth muscle called the muscularis mucosae separating it from the submucosa beneath. The submucosa lies under the mucosa and consists of fibrous connective tissue, separating the mucosa from the next layer. Meissner's plexus is in this layer. The muscularis externa lies beneath the submucosa, and is unique from other organs of the gastrointestinal tract, consisting of three layers: ...[it] also possesses a serosa, consisting of layers of connective tissue continuous with the peritoneum.

So how does one bring this shrinkage about? I'll bet it's willpower right? Course it is. And, after all the years fatz have spent trying to stay starved whilst forcing themselves to run about, just applying a little of that power of attention to the stomach would be easy-peasy.

We are indubtably suited to exercising extensive willpower. 

Just gently [we don't want to scare it] will the stomach to get smaller and smaller. Imagine it, like a bag, getting smaller and smaller bit by bit, if not day by day, then week by week, right? Let's take it easy!

Fantastic. And after all, we are in complete charge of our bodies right? We created them the size they are. So, no doubt we have full control of our stomachs.

We have the [will]power!!!

So ladies gents, before you engage in any mutilating gastrectomy-having your healthy functioning stomach amputated merely because it is functioning.
Surgical removal of the stomach is called a gastrectomy ....Sleeve gastrectomy is a surgical weight-loss procedure in which the stomach is reduced to about 15% of its original size, by surgical removal of a large portion of the stomach along the greater curvature.
Try instead using your mind [willpower] to shirk this eminently shrinkable organ. If the experimenters won't do the relevant experiments, do them yourselves. You owe it to your society to save your healthcare systems from "bankruptcy".

Spread the word!!!

[Seriously, relax your body shrink your own stomach. How hard can it be? Clinical trials will tell us.. D'OH!]

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