Thursday, 21 May 2015

Don't want to be your kind of slim human

Reverse thinspo seems to be going mainstream. That's when a person, often slim but also not, uses their negative reaction to fat people to ward off weight gain. It's all very superstitious. 

In some ways I get that, I too never want to develop the slim haloed/thin privileged mentality.

I discovered this by the time I was about 14, despite feeling I could have considered giving up a limb to be slim [yez].

Though there's much collusion on the pity party versions of fat experience. I'm quite thankful for having been fat, because it's meant I don't have to participate in all sorts of odd and tedious hookum that we will all have to get over at some point or other.

E.g. I don't have to unconvincingly pretend that situations/states of being are diseases when they aren't.

Nor do that most people don't have a hand in their own neuroses. And that's okay, we aren't perfect, we mess up in ways we don't intend. Just as we slip and trip over and break, sprain, twist whatever.

I don't have to pretend no solution to a health issue =incurable that's given me quiet hope at some crucial times. I don't have to get caught up with status games with various neurotic ailments, treat them with any reverence. I don't have to indulge in breathtaking insensitivity toward those suffering with cancer.

Invoking them in grotesque games of false equivalence.

I have a greater tolerance for being unsure, imperfect, human, sublimating this disbelief into convenient lies so completely that I don't realise its there, until it leaks out onto some random group of people assigned false inferiority. 

I don't have to overrate 'innocence' as some kind of gold standard of human worth. Don't have to give a shit about the weird currency 'addict' has somehow picked up either. 

Being slim is fine. I spent a long time trying to slim down and I've made no secret of that. What curls my gills is the mentality that too many slim people allow themselves to develop as a side effect of their place in whole 'obesity'/weight-as-identity melange.

This undoubtedly demeans and shows them up, exposing a neediness that isn't apparent to them.

You can keep all that with my complements.......

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