Friday, 10 October 2008

I threw away a piece of chocolate

Just the other day, for the first time I can remember, I had cause to throw away a piece of chocolate.

Now as a woman, I don't want to overstate the situation. The notion, for instance, that chocolate is somehow better than sex or other such nonsense, still continues to shock, I've always felt that mediocre sex is better than any chocolate in the world, come to it, any food in the world. I would also never mix the two, as I think that's really asinine.

The point is that I don't recall throwing away chocolate, merely because I didn't want it, like any other unwanted bit of partially eaten food. Somehow it never comes up, because either, I eat it all, or at best, I save the rest for later-later in the sense of about 5 minutes later.

To be honest, in recent times, I've kept chocolate for weeks, months even, usual put away and forgotten about- this is in itself is odd when I think about it, as I never used to be able to forget about chocolate, let alone, keep it, that I just didn't understand. But this time was different, first of all I realised that I didn't want it all, I stopped immediately - this was automatic; then I thought of folding it and putting it in my bag, but due mainly to the shape of the packet, this would have been likely to create a mess, in the past I would have bitten some off to reshape it, but I couldn't be doing with that this time, I said to myself, I'm going to chuck this, and I did!

I have to admit I felt I nanosecond's worth of pride, ouff! Vanity indeed! I asked myself why, I couldn't answer; because I don't really care that much about how much I eat, I have a trust of and in myself that I never used to have. I can only put it down to a bit of a throwback to the time when this just wouldn't have happened-except under duress.

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