Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Thrashing about

Whenever I look through this blog I'm constantly dogged by the sentiment, why do you bother? It's not about popularity and readers etc., It's that it's failures are so glaringly, sometimes painfully obvious that I think, surely not?

The temption is to start again, but that would only be a brief respite before more of the same.

See, it's like that last sentence, what the hell am I talking about? I don't think like this, not in my head; surely? And haven't I just added yet another superfluous comma. That started a few months ago and is so far sticking, continuing, whatev's.

Sometimes the only reason I continue is because it's sometimes feels so bad, I start to feel belligerent about it. Why am I owed a better blog if I can't manage it right now? Why do I expect to be able to say what I want to say, not miss my mark and so on ? I've just written something that just about makes sense, in fact it felt pretty good for me, then I realised, that it wasn't about what it was supposed to be about and hey, what was it about exactly?

It's not that I don't know what it's about, I just don't know how I got to the good sense I was making from my starting point, ah yes I remember now. It was about the beginning illustrating a general theme.

That realisation, which occurred whilst I was try to edit this, has meant I can delete the rest of it, and try and think of a title for my other mini opus.

Courage mon braves, I may get there yet.


  1. Are you learning from your failures? If you are, then don't worry about them, they have their purpose.
    And maybe not all of us who are reading see them as failures, even if we don't always comment. I always read what you have written, even though I don't often comment (between blogging, commenting on BFB and Fierce Freethinking Fatties, and keeping up with Facebook and the rest of the blogs I read, not to mention I now have a blind cat to look after, I don't always have time to comment on everything I read).
    But I do read and I always get something to think about out of your posts, so I hope you keep on posting and trying and thinking. If it makes sense to you, it will make sense to some of the rest of us - maybe not all of us, but that's ok too, I think.

  2. Well thank you Vesta, I must admit I spoke more in amused irritation than despair. Your kind words are much appreciated though.

    As for whether I'm learning from my failures, that's an interesting question.

    I'd have to say for now that I'm pretty variable on that!