Friday, 4 February 2011


I hope this will see some adequate resolution this time. One of the first things I noticed that really surprised no, shocked me about the fatsphere was the atomic level fury directed at any awesome fatz (I've just discovered that courtesy of allthatihavemet at tumblr) who have the bare faced nerve to state the obvious.

That if you are further up the fat graph, you are likely to get it in the neck far more than those who are let's face it, acceptably fat. And why are we acceptably fat? Because to some extent awefatz have broken our fall, d'ya get me?

When I was young I was ahead of the obesity spike, I was just about the only fat kid/teen in the world-OK that's what it felt like-then one day some years ago, people kept telling me I'm not that fat. I thought "Wait a minute I know I'm substantial enough" it was then I noticed that I had stayed the same for a while and loads of others bigger than myself had joined the party, a lot were young true, but there were more people who I thought would be slim for life-and so did they!!

I hope this isn't going to sound crass but whatever reward comes of not being an outstanding target for intense vitriol makes up for any possible ish-yoo's I could ever have with 'exclusion' i.e. the open recognition that I do not fall into whatever category I don't fall into.

When it comes to reassuring smallfatz about their place in the movement etc., One line sums up how I feel, let alone Marianne;

Why is that the job of larger fats?

Exactamundo. I've never asked nor would ask any awefatz to give me any reassurance because I see that as my job, if I'm falling down on that I should not be shamed but I must recognise that is mine because it can only be mine.

I don't object to people feeling 'erased' when other people's experience makes some of theirs look or feel like a vicar's tea party, I've said that about thinz in relation to fatz. The issue is the ability to recognize a response that needs to be worked through because it is a projection of your inner feelings onto someone else and one which is actually responding to something coming from said person.

Incidentally, I feel similarly about thinz who keep on about how they want to know that fatz don't hate 'em. I've tried to be patient with that one for a least five minutes but found myself quickly tired to heck of being drained by insecure thinz because:

a) I recognised the futility of trying to persuade someone I hadn't said what I hadn't said because it seemed like I might matter how earnest my protestations.

b) You have to question why reassurance is needed and the short answer is, thinz have been persuaded to either to phobe on fatz or hate them, so they are asking for reassurance that we are better and less corruptible than them and don't feel the same, in other words not equality.

There's an element of temperature check, they want to know how much of the noble fatz game they are oh so used to (but don't acknowledge) is still in play.

In the case of smaller fatz I would venture to suggest looking for reassurance to check that awefatz are not going to exclude them, the way they clearly sense they exclude awefatz. In a sense this exclusion has been set by "obesity science" as it is the only field I know of with such a low interest in the outliers of its subject.

The message of inclusivity and diversity has gotten across many well meaning folks desire to include is out of sync with their ability to carry it through. Or to overcome-if that is even the right word- their desire to gravitate toward their like and those they feel comfortable with.

This has meant regardless of how deeply nice folks are or how good their intentions in the real time  dynamics of human interplay, they've instinctively eased a.fatz to the edges of certain spaces. I'm not saying its deliberate but if they want their own spaces it must have happened too much.

There's clearly more, I noticed before some smallfatz are passing on the chain in this instance they feel they must be noble to thinz therefore, awefatz must play that role for them. Who's supposed to play that role for a.fatz? Why no-one silly! It seems that smallfatz recognise status differential full well and just deal with stuff by moving the obesity game up the scale.

So awefatz become the obese and we become acceptably fat. The complexity of human response can never be discounted. To be fair, I think its under people's (full) awareness that their minds make these instinctual shifts, however, they do that to some extent because of the beliefs already in their head.

People sometimes get upset with me and think I'm just being a pain, but when you extend yourself falsely to others, both yourself those in the same boat who need that support tend to get shafted.

I suggest we all unburdened ourselves of the habit of faux nobility, it should no longer be our job to defuse the hate of others we now know is pre-decided and willful and perhaps we will not pass that on to others.

I'm not being modest when I say, I sometimes don't see the nose on my face. As ever I have to be open to the possibility that there is some legit basis of difficulty that I'm not seeing.

I also can tell you, I've absolutely no time for people who actually do make it their business to get sniffy about smallfatz and say they cannot possibly understand etc., believe me. I don't give a rats poo for that.

However even there it doesn't mean the underlying basis for that pissiness is not legit and some are going to have to stop avoiding that one as it is clear the line is made by both sides.

 * Sorry, deathfatz is fine but it has never felt right for me to use it.

No comments:

Post a Comment