Thursday, 3 February 2011

I live this body

I can't tell if this is an adequate phrase to replace it, but must we describe people or ourselves as "living in this body"? As if there's an ickle master version of us floating around in a pod somewhere inside, observing it all.

It's not so much  that we live inside, its that we are a whole and we have an inside, we are stuffed we are not hollow. The self that's talking to you is not on the outside, true but it is not separate from it either.

I suppose you could say your kidneys live inside you if you wanted to be cute, but saying your self lives inside your self is a little eerie. This body is you.

It seems like part of the kind of thinking which declares the mind a citadel which can control our bodies anyway we want by dictating to them via this central nub and haven't we had the privilege of seeing just how badly that can go?

It speaks to the Cartesian hangover, the artificial distance between mind and body.  I wonder if it is possible for it to be a seamless whole whether we could ever get to a point, or a access a point where we could just be aware of say our liver or heart and other parts of ourselves, not just when they demand it by feeling 'funny' or making an unusual amount of noise but as a different focus of attention?

Not constant, but when directed by intent like I'm looking at this screen.

It's a  bit unnerving to consider. Would it be distracting or drive us a bit loopy-like tinnitus does with some-I always found it comforting because when I could hear it things were either quiet or I was calmer, less distracted. Maybe mine was mild.

Would pain be unendurable not having to get through the numb layers of all that is cut/edited from our ready attention, in part so  that we can notice things (outside ourselves) but also our attitudes to ourselves and our bodies?

Or does getting past that help gather the pace and strength of pain causing an overspill effect not always stemmed by the dimming or end of the cause?

Would being in at what comes before hurt change the way we felt and interpreted sensory distress, if not for the removal of surprise? I think the change would give us more options maybe we could change the rhythms of our impulses opening out our senses,catching synaptic impulses slowing them down, re-directing or blocking/highlighting them.

We'd feel different just existing. Perhaps we'd communicate differently too, with fewer words and more in tune with our non verbal ways.

I don't know whether its greater awareness or longer life spans but I think of what seems to be more people living with chronic pain so acute that it sometimes cannot be touched even by the strongest narcotics.

How would this complete mind/ body symbiosis change the way we see our bodies/selves? What would we not do with and to ourselves, would it not make much difference either way?

No answers today but I do know, I am this body, I live it I am not inside it is me.

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