Friday, 18 July 2014

Being Felled by your Own Hating is Something to Avoid

After years of "humiliation" and "shame", Linda Kelsey ex-editor of cosmo and rampant misogynist wonders why young fat women- who should be feeling as bad as her very great self-don't seem to her to be;
what I witnessed was a let-it-all-hang-out faith in themselves and a don't-give-a-damn attitude to their evident obesity. ......Far more attention and, dare I say it, opprobrium needs to be directed at young fatties.
Despite being a hack, she didn't think to strike up a convo and find out. Probably for the best.

She claims women have swallowed the "dangerous body positive message." They're concerned about their daughters weight but dare not say lest tip them into anorexia.Well, as calorie restriction is the primary instrument of anorexia, they've got something.

Though, is she sure it's simply that?
My mental and physical collapse — the most accurate way I know to describe what happened to me — was a clear sign that, like many women of my generation, I was spreading myself too thinly, trying to do too much, too perfectly, without letting my superwoman mask slip. 
Perhaps these women are aware of what a (literally) dead end hating your body and/or self is and where it can lead?
Depression sucks the life-force out of you. It makes you hate yourself. It makes you feel utterly worthless.
After all;
nearly one in five adults experience anxiety or depression, with the highest levels occurring in women in over 50
And;
Though those figures are high, they also mean that if you are one of those unlucky ones, four out of five people won’t have a clue what you’re going through.
The "unlucky" ones? It hardly counts as bad ill-luck if you end up there after life of cloaking yourself in body shame.

She starts her earlier piece on what shame and self hatred does to a susceptible mind describing the awful torpor of neurosis. Years of high anxiety exhausting the nervous system-which then collapses into a state of chronic exhaustion, i.e. depression. Turning an everyday errand to the supermarket into a "herculean task. Impossible"

Does she think people as borish as herself walking past her at that time, like she walked past those fat women, would know what she felt inside? From the outside?

After wasting years doing the same kind of thing that helped get her to this point-chiding herself for failing her perfectionist standards-she finally cottoned on that this was rather self defeating. When she got the end of her will to live;
Having sunk to a place where I believed that I, and all those who loved me, would be better off if I was dead,
Yes, she was committed. Even if she does believe fatness is 'unhealthy' she ought to have learned something about the paradox of human beings doing things they think are right, only to end up with unintended consequences.

Instead she prefers glib talk show therapy speak. Claiming gratitude for the experience. She wishes, this tirade reveals she's as bitter as a pike wishing on others what she barely endured and is still struggling with. Except to to exhort others to surround and force them into this state so that unlike her, there's no escape for them, when they've had enough.

As with other fat phobes, solipsists personnified. This has already happened to many fat people. And perhaps the young women themselves may have already been to that abyss. Gabourey Sidibe was put on her first diet at six and burnt out at about 19. Later she made the decision not just to stop chasing bad, but to step up and decide who she was and how she was going to feel about herself.

All you do is climb in, then have to claw your way out again. As Kelsey had to. I don't care who you are or what you weigh, at some point, you will have to decide who you are, regardless of what or who others think you are or should be.

This is what a mature woman with the wisdom of experience is supposed to tell young women. That wasting yourself like this, will get you a blown nervous system, that may never truly recover.

That's a lot of her problem, living in that head full of hatefulness and shame, 24/7. Never being able to get away. Sorry, but not all depressions are the same. Not everyone is depressed because they received bad treatment, from others.

This woman still has the same hateful credo that pulled her under her own moving vehicle. Her "recovery" like so many who naturally invest in fat phobia, was to absent herself from her own judgment!
the unswerving support of friends and family was critical. They never blamed me or told me to pull myself together. They knew I wouldn’t act this way if I could help it.
She had to get permission from them. Imagine if they hadn't given it to her? Instead, confirmed her view of herself and told her to stay there. Where would she be then?

Anger towards her is righteous enough, but remember, she has to live with herself. I'm truly grateful for that myself. That's punishment enough. She can't get away. There's no respite from the ugliness within and she's quite angry about that. Just like many 'motivated' i.e. self bullying fitness junkies.

Oh the honesty of fatness! Unlike neuroses, which continually flatter to deceive in this kind of way. Weight is metabolic. It cannot be fooled by drugs, sub- therapy bull-shiting.You've either affected your metabolic function, or you haven't. You can manufacture some crude temporary assault-this shallowness ends up being evident....

It's this kind of neuroses therapy, drugs haze merry go round, that gives the impression that something has happened. People like Kelsey expose that utterly. She has learn nothing, except to get herself out of the way of the Leviathan pulling her down and volunteer some other victims for it. As if that will do anything for her dim soul.

In some ways, her feelings are being exploited. Her still raw anguish and rage are hard for her to suppress in the face of those she deems so utterly beneath her. Others want to get at fat bitches and put us in our place just as she does, but know just enough to sense how bad that makes them look.

So, fools rush in, and are rather laid bare. I doubt those who paid her for this effluent give any more of a damn about her dignity than they do the fat people's she's being set upon.

Well, you know what? Not playing daily mail.

This is the kind of thing I've seen so often from fat phobes. And I'm not going for it. I've got better in mind than your repeated attempts to set up a fat versus slim-women. Nope, not interested.

In some ways I pity this Kelsey, no, I really do. That's not undercover contempt. Though if she feels insulted, I'm okay with that. "I have more compassion for MYSELF and others" She claimed.

Call that ambition.

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