There seems to be a world of difference between moderately overweight couch potatoes, who would sportingly accept their own culpability, as most do....[My emphasis] Where this thought goes awry is Barbara Ellen's attempt to split fat people into 'morbid' i.e bmi 40+ and under that. [At last the much touted FA dichotomy of good/bad fatty finally makes some sense to me.]
She's wrong though.
ALL fat people are and have always been very sporting about mea culpa(bility). We've been on a continuous loop of, "We are fat because we eat too much and do too little." Or should I say, lazy 'n' greedy, as long as the crusade and before. That is all any fat person I've ever know has ever said about "why" they/we are fat.
I can't speak to interactions fat people may have with those who aren't fat though. Don't forget how much we pander to slimz, instead of setting them right or ignoring them, we respond to their rote interrogations, as if we're on trial. Which we are, due to being defined as guilty.
We can learn to say no to this though.
One of the unintentionally comical things about the mainstream fat phobic mindset is its so psyched up to meet a resistance that rarely if ever comes. The sheer momentum of expecting resistance carries them on as if they are;
Despite my best efforts, Betty denied any personal contribution to her unhappy life situation. Oh yes, she could, on an intellectual level, agree that, if she stopped eating and lost weight, the world might treat her differently.....Besides she marshaled other responsibility-absolving arguments...She could agree that if she stopped eating and lost weight, the world would treat her differently, in what way is that "responsibility-absolving"? It's as if the frequency of our "confessional" has moved the idea of 'responsibility versus denial' onwards. Onto our bodies. Our words and actions mean nothing. Weight loss is everything.
Weight is deemed the sum total of actions ergo fat people must be "in denial" merely by being. Fat people must be refuting culpability due to our size.
The central reason we're in the dog house is because, ALL PEOPLE LOVE BASTARDY.
Permit me to explain.
Bear in mind, women are human beings. Yes, you're saying, you know. What I mean is, women are fully human. Meaning when you can perceive qualities in women, you are likely perceiving a quality of the human character, not some lesser category of.
M'kay?
Usually a form of that particular complaint, "Women love bastards" is issued by hetero-guys having erm.... less luck pursuing intimacies with women than they would like to explain their situation.
Their general thesis is that they're nice, i.e. helpful, respectful and responsive to women's needs, but are overlooked continually for what they call bastards. That's men who don't appear to give a damn about making nice.
I will not sally forth into the mire that is friendzone, nice guy syndrome et al. All I need to say is that any truth there is in that sentiment is that we all have ideas of qualities we desire from each other that when we meet those qualities in others, we absolutely loathe those who display them.
I remember a golden age Hollywood actress liked to give some snap about the more she saw of dogs the more she preferred them to men. I remembered thinking, if any man behaved like a dog, you'd despise him.
One of my pet hates [lol] used to be animal loving types who project noble savage/innocent onto other animals and then seek to surround themselves with them as if to say, they are transmitting the glory of their noble savagery/innocence onto moi. Which makes me better than you.
You could say fat people have been the ultimate nice guys when it comes to people's attitudes to their weight. We listened, avoided confrontation, put the demands of others first and that's exactly why we're loathed.
This is frequently missed, especially by fat people many of whom flat out state that our attitude upon awakening from this stupour of "niceness" is responsible for the aggression of others. And that we need to be courteous at all times, explain to the disingenuous and hostile, who will change their minds on presentation of compelling evidence.
They have some kind of Stockholm amnesia complex, plus a mathematical fault-where they've forgot that we've been just as nice as its possible to be and if that has brought us here, it stands to reason that the answer does not lay there.
In a way you could say its heartening that people aren't so shallow that all you have to do is play like a pup and you'll win them over. They actually prefer you to be real, to inhabit yourself. To be there in person, rather than acting a part.
Things like this made me realize just how much human relations are ruined by our expectations of each other. And how the things we think we want from others, we actually detest when we get them.
"Everybody wants" [thinks they want] other people not to deny any [seemingly] obvious culpability or possibility of it. That kind of knee jerk defensiveness and avoidance of responsibility can be so wearying to the soul. It makes approaching people with their possible or otherwise wrong-doing ever more daunting. This tension has created many a misanthrope.
Yet....here's fat people fronting up, no defense, no fuss, "We did it gov'nur 'twas us, we're guilty as heck" etc., Instead of relief, cheers all round and like Barbara, "How sporting of you." We are utterly despised. And no, it's not for our so called "gluttony".
When individuals have more wealth than some sovereign nations, when the earth is being bled try then torn up to find every resource garnered by nature over thousands of years. Or if you prefer personal consumption, when what people snort up their nose so they can babble shite faster, causes people all over the world to get shot to hell, trying to go about their business.
When in some countries, booze is almost religion and getting drunk virtually a sacrament. I'd venture to suggest greed is hardly unspeakable.
Fat people are effortlessly loathed for doing what we all yearn for. So much so that people weary themselves making an effort to contain any of it.The truly nicest, generous most tender hearted souls manage to dredge up a fiery hatred of fat people, out of nowhere. It can be quite curious.
To me this sportingness is one of the things that's great about being fat. I'm unmoved by the endless search for innocence that I see reflected in the construction of slimness as the signal of an unblemished character.
Trying to erase what is or is deemed negative about the human character is an understandable way to raise self-esteem, reduce stress and enhance well-being. But it is, dehumanizing in its way, positively so. We are not free of blemish and often a fault is the other side of a blessing and vice versa.
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