Friday, 22 October 2010
I'm having one of those past caring moments, what we call fat hating is just like a religious cult. We are the agnostic/atheist/sceptics (the real ones), they think we are in league with the forces of eval, or would if they had a clue. That's about the size of it.
Caring about their witless utterances sometimes just feels too much like being tied down to their low 'standard'. Everything is formulated around their tiresome cult, even our responses to it often feel like they are just paying tribute to this. Is there anyone else out there who's as sick and tired of this as I am? What will it take to get past this I wonder?
Get past those who wish to 'negotiate' fat acceptance into oblivion or smoother and derail it with irrelevance.
How much encouragement FA gives by refusing to let (them) go. When you are fat and pursuing the fat hating agenda, you reflexively stretch over to the haters who are withdrawing away from the real (fat) you-which may or may not take over the whole of you- in order to substitute that with the malevolent caricature of obesity.
This is an act of faith, a suspension of known truth reminiscent of aspects of paganistic folklore. It reminds of the old zombie ideal part of the real you is symbolically erased and reanimated with a force outside you with it's own designs namely adding to its own power. It reduces your own by weakening your agency corrupting that further with its own-added to your worshipful trust in its diktats. You exist purely to serve the needs of the cult, not your own.
Its their half arsed beliefs that real live humans are supposed personify, hardly humanist. All of this is (supposedly ironically) given power by the very thing that should snuff it, science. Here it is used as a power source to promote faith through the trust and authority it has to define and describe truth.
In stretching reflexively (and because you are taking direction from outside) to keep contact you end up clinging to them, a bit like someone clinging to a SO walking out the door. I often feel they've gone and you've been dragged along clinging, let go and go back home, surely we can do better for ourselves? Why do we have to always be following them, what are our plans where would we like to go?
Rejection hurts and its understandable that we should try to win back the source but when are we allowed to stop giving a damn? I recognise the need to engage, but why is it still always on the same old terms the ones that brought us here, why do there not seem to have any others?
Or is that our plan, to get back with them and everything will be alright? It all seems a little FoBT, look at the state of them screaming at us, trying 're-negotiate' pisspoor 'privilege' (which is about our loss, not their gain), do they sound like they've got it worked out enough to aspire to? Why not get with ourselves instead, just how bad can that be? Well, I'm not with the get back plan, I'm with the screw your dust I'm going to make my own way even if it kills me plan.
I'm a bit like that.