Sunday, 5 July 2009

Causing your own weight

I felt pulled in differing directions whilst reading a wonderfully direct exposition of why Frances feels she is fat. Though it can be a low percentage balancing act, it is possible honestly say, I just eat too much and that's that.

I feel the same way at times myself. Especially when people in refuting the caricature of 'obesity' repeat the eat too much, do too little, forgetting people like myself have eaten a hell of a lot and others frankly don't have small appetites.

The latter is so praised in a slim person and utterly rejected as a possibility for a fat person. That has done many of us real damage, setting us on a futile errand to tame as a pathology what is just a natural tendency.

That is meeting our needs. It's also boring to not be able to have a variety of tastes and traits amongst fat people. To be unable to be honest, not just the opprobrium, but the disconnection it encourages between you and your own feelings.

I spluttered a bit in my objection, but what I really wanted to say is that is the "cause" of being slim/slender too, is eating "too much" and doing too little.

Saying it can also be more a representation of our culture a certain kind of free will. We have to own whatever we happen to be doing as directed by our will, rather than being able to say, I definitely want to do this or that or don't care, but though this direction is coming from inside me, it's  not consciously decided by me as such, though I'm owning it.

In order to avoid saying that kind of thing because it falls almost outside the meaning our society allows, making us seem pathetic or out of control. Which isn't the point, it's about finding out not only what we can control, but finding different ways to be in control. Just like working with rather than against nature.

In order to be in sync with yourself, you have to perceive and understand what you are trying to get in tune with. That's harder when our constricted ideas of being in total consciously directed control obscures the promise of other forms or experience of control.

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