Thursday, 8 July 2010

Crisis Hooks

Lara at Fatchicksrule reminded me of this cartoon by Ampersand. Inspired by this, I've decided to compile my top ten themes of the obeszoid crisis, AKA the first ten fourteen things that come to mind today.

My top ten fourteen hooks that sell the obeszoid crisis, in no particular order:

1-Fears about the freedom of people we don't like;

* So many of our problems stem from (other) people who are too liberated from the burden of (pointless) guilt, the authorities must find a route to usher in a new age of shame for them.

2-Compassion fatigue;

* We've tried enough things to assist the less fortunate/ marginalized we're exhausted and/or threatened, it's time for a brave new era of blame.

3-Fears that it will all run out;

* Somebody has got to represent our collective guilt and shame for our wastefulness. We've got to sacrifice somebody to assuage the gods, so they don't punish us the rest of us for it.

4- Unwitting diet adherence facilitators;

* Yes, if you can make yourself/ your life as shit as possible, that'll help me with my diet, thanks. And for fat self hating losers too.

5-Displaced sense of injustice;

* Somebody accessible has to stand as proxy for all the more inaccessible sinners who get away with it. We are owed catharsis.

6- Assisting progress for the unready;

* It's easier to let go of racism, classism, sexism et al, if we have another -ism to replace it with.

7- Seeing off the threat of social anarchy;

* If nobody feels debilitating self loathing how are people of merit going to stay at the top.

8 - A fauxgressive indulgence;

* Fat phobia is a better fairer class of prejudice because an obeszoid can be any age, race or gender -it's prejudice for a diverse age.
9- Assisting the medical monopoly to maintain it's hold whilst reducing it's workload profs;

* Blaming fatties is an excellent way to re-introduce the public to the old primitive superstition that illness is their fault that way they get most of the responsibility for their health and we get the power.

10-Patsy for ever rising medical costs;

* Is there a better way to divert attention from those who are really milking the medical model dry and delay threat of change.

11- Accessing a feminist beauty myth called "health".

* Slimness suggests androgyny fatness is physical ostentation either too femme /butch fatties are making a point with their bodies. Feminist BM is about women looking like they're ready to fight the patriarchy in the streets, at any moment. It's our duty to be fit enough (looking). Who heard of a fat Amazon?

12- Science bluffing for dummies;

* Mentioning calories in calories out is mansplaining and therefore deeply scientific.

13- A vehicle for improving for social conditions;

* Fat people are just a means to an end, they should relax and not take it all so personally.

14- Fears of encroachment;

* Fat people are taking up more than their designated space, that means I'm missing out on my allotted entitlement.

15-Religiousity for the irrelgious

* We had God and sin and heaven and all that. Now we have food and weight and the perfect diet of everlasting life. Amen.

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