I found a picture of myself the other day and was taken aback. It was one of those head shot passport style photos, ones that are notorious for making even the stunning look wrong.
I remembered it as myself looking at my most disappointingly foul. I even remember the lower half of my face looking a bit shady.
I was mesmerized by it because I looked different. I could see myself and actually looked like someone rather than off putting. I was no longer an object, I hadn't even realised that's how I saw myself until now.
When you start to see yourself as you are making serious inroads in a habit of self loathing-and its true whether you are fat or thin-some people call that surprise beautiful. Sometimes it is, but more than any positive feelings, I just looked different, like someone, somebody, rather than just something to look away from.....
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