One thing most of us don’t grow out of is that when things go wrong,* we need someone to blame. We find the force of circumstance too threateningly random an explanation. Introverts blame themselves. Extroverts blame other people. This is why they often end up together.* Or we think/convince ourselves they have.
You're telling me.
Well you know what? Grow out of it because its, yahwn, messed up, self indulgent and very, very old. Instead, let's go from (I'm assuming) a more religion inspired preachy, sound and thunder, spare the rod spoil the child, "tough love" horseshit, to one more in the spirit of the age objective one.
Let's move on to a a more selfless, ego-suspend, active listening and really hearing the other one-under scrutiny/in trouble.
Our old, default pulpit inspired one tends to start from a position of one as the all conquering wise "normal" one and the other as the "sinner". Anyone with even a "blameless" illness will attest to how many people ask them "Can't you just, stop/get up our of that wheelchair/throw away those crutches/visit Lourdes, etc., guilty tripping.
The problem is inherent in the construct "normal" which is as they say a big tent. It forces people on the defensive. Thrusting them into a permanent state of continually re-establishing their authenticity of normal. This neurotic state of is inherently anxiety-promoting, the feeling is, I might not to be. Feelings of panic emerge from the subconscious hinterlands.
Leaning toward a tendency to create a faux demarcation between normal/ abnormal-see how that's defined in relation to, rather than in its own right- then to create as vast a chasm between those two as possible.
Leading to the inability to see the normal in the abnormal and often, vice versa, to see the extent of the abnormal in the normals. This in itself is responsible for as much suffering up to and including death as many actual problems in themselves.
A more mindfully inspired let someone else's thoughts flow without you interrupting with your (dumb) ego giving your less obvious brain a better chance of sending you some wisdom unencumbered, might be a leap forward in society's/societies collective consciousness.
Like a bit of group therapy or even temporarily sponsor where you are like the person's clear, extra brain for a while. Only prodding gently if they're bullshitting-can sometimes tell because they're either boring the pants off you or just seem fake.
What's in it for you? Well, clearing your mind, listening, not only gives your wisdom a chance to poke through-which is heartening-it gets easier to put your ego aside, something that can easily be of immeasurable value to anyone.
Hurry up, some of us need the flamer-blamers in positions of influence to "grow up."