Thursday, 14 May 2009

The Venus of Hohle Fels

This article article about the Venus of Hohle Fels, made me laugh out loud today. It illustrates how the porn generation's fixations are now penetrating (yes) even the halls of academe.

A piece of Prehistoric pornography carved from mammoth ivory at least 35,000 years ago may be the oldest known example of figurative art .

The latter is what I would have called this Venus, but I'm still back in the days when this sort of thing was called a 'fertility symbol', now the Rubicon has been crossed, the mere depiction of the female form =porn.

This not only seems to have gotten everyone a bit excited, ramping up the language in the usually pretty sober house style of the newspaper, it also seems that these boffins have not encountered fat ladies with their clothes off;

The female figurine, which stands 6cm (2.4in) tall, has outsized breasts, huge buttocks, exaggerated genitals.....

Yes, she's a fat woman.
.....and open legs.

She's a fat woman, standing up.

Pish to detractors who say, 'there never used to be obesity', for the 40 millionth time

Dr. Nicholas Conrod, (deliberate misspelling) gets excited too;

"There can be no doubt that the depiction of oversized breasts, accentuated buttocks and genitalia results from the deliberate exaggeration of the sexual features of the figurine.”

She's a fat woman.

Not to be outdone, Paul Mellars an Oxbridge scholar no less says;
“The figure is explicitly — and blatantly — that of a woman....

The mere depiction of a naked fat woman is, explicit and blatant? That doesn't sound good to me, but, now I know how somebody whiled away some of those lonely hours, he continues;

....with an exaggeration of sexual characteristics,

Some girls are bigger than others.

.....large, projecting breasts,

Rack o' doom , bound up to make 'em stand proud. Maybe the artist had a specific lady in mind, maybe a S.O. who liked to, role play.

....a greatly enlarged and explicit vulva,

Hey, some of us are bigger down there, like some men.

....and bloated belly and thighs, that by 21st-century standards could be seen as bordering on the pornographic .”

Possibly, if you've tossed yourself senseless. .

Maybe it's the fact that our Venus has no head, in it's stead is an eyelet that, as the article says, looks like this was actually worn as a pendant. Liked to carry Venus around everywhere, awwwwhh.


  1. I've read several quotations in various articles from Dr. Mellars about this Venus, and in every one he seems to be frothing about the overt sexuality of this piece. I'm pretty sure the overt sexuality in this instance is Dr. Mellars', who seems to have never seen a prehistoric goddess figure before, that this one is so surprising to him.

  2. I'm pretty sure the overt sexuality in this instance is Dr. Mellars'Indeed!

    He doesn't seem to have experienced the joys of a fat woman (or man?), which by his reaction, could count as some kind of self-denial.